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| Being in the test and failing.
Yet, knowing that in the midst of this, God is there.
Being in the test and being disapproving
Yet, knowing that somewhere the grace comes flying out of nowhere to rescue you in your pain.
There is no perfection in the attainments of men.
There is no resurrection without a dead man.
There is no untoward reaction to the seasonal sins of men.
Hating sin has no flesh in it.
Hating self has all together flesh in it.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.
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| Just for today, a sweet surrender to the Lord, not kidding.
Just for today, a not so hard communication with the Lord as I am being obedient.
Just for today, peace that passes all understanding.
Just for today, loving and serving without words.
Just for today, letting bygones be bygones.
Just for today, allowing truth to set us free.
Just for today walking in the spirit and thus not fulfilling the lusts of the flesh.
Just for today, no more running, no more hiding, no more foolishness, no more hurting.
Just for today.
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| went to prophetic small conference at (church of the Holy Spirit) whatever the name is now.
went to praise God with others.
notice people who are extremely sensitive and want to love, but feel the energy sap me away.
It feels like it is never enough never good enough, wondering what the purpose is really.
Love casts out all fear. I have put down everything to talk with Dad
when he comes over here. Look to honor him in whatever way he needs
love and honour but refuse to watch tv with him, sometimes have watched
his police shows with him.
Not sure what the love of God through me looks like but have seen it at times.
Taking a son to a birthday dinner and having us sing happy birthday to him.
Taking a son and husband to a lunch away from the house in order to
talk with them. At the house, the tv games and computer have replaced
all family discussion or reaching out to one another. I am grieved but
continue to do what I can do in the house. Not seeming to care about
house work any more or making meals, have worked on some raw foods and
other things to help heal and cleanse the body. Worship God in my
living room slowly slowly and not be in rebellion and trust and go and
visit grandpa. work to know what the will of God is in my life. Slowly
giving up the codependent ways I have been using for so many years and
learning to turst that God has my life and my love in his hands. Long
for life and life more abundant. Have to go with the paradigm shifts in
my life. Have been a dependent for many years due to the mind thing to
where I have not skills to take care of myself. Learning some skills
now, eating sleeping, having a story at night, getting to work on time
is a large issue, taking the time to go shopping without an attitude
about it, exercising on the trampoline getting more continuous. clear
car of food or whatever, stop drinking wine beer except for one night a
week.
Stop allowing others to take me down the pike be with them when they
are not caring for themselves.Stop allowing negative influence to
engulf me and eat me alive. Frustrated with so many lies, so many
deaths, so many inconsistencies in my own life. Such needless suffering
in people's lives, such difficult times coming.
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| Today I decided to worship Him and HIm alone.
Today I decided that no amount of boredom would keep me from Him. That he loves me and died for me.
Today I decided that no amount of confusion can touch me for I am His and a sustained person because of this.
Today I decided that it is time to take action to be all that I can be.
I have looked into taking care for my body. I have looked into taking
care for my mind. I have looked into taking care for my home and
grandpa. I have looked into sleeping properly, i have looked at loving
my family in a manner that is productive. I have strained at gnats and
swallowed camels but am getting on the right track.
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| waiting on the Lord.
Pursuing his most excellent ways.
Keeping quiet inside while the storm rages inside and out.
Changing the way I think.
going the extra mile never knowing what is around the corner.
Pursuing love though not experiencing it like He gives it
No air conditioning in car after August the 26th.perspiration streaming down face all the time.
Going to a seminar on changing the way we respond to our world.
Getting excited after a long lonely terrifying night. (many years)
Raw foods come and go.
change is happening.
believing that my brain can function again enough to get another more encompassing job.
content with job at hand. Wondering what God moments may occur in a future job.
visiting while I can. Seeing grandpa. worship in the living room coming
better. small times with Lord coming better.After being angry most of
my life, the calm and aroma of change is so much greeted with joy.
Knowing that in the interior places there is much more of God than we
realize. Letting our light shine meaning that God gets to shine out
through us. Feeling as though I have put a block on that Holy Spirit
led life. not realizing that the block was there but knowing that much
failing had occurred. not knowing how to right it or balance it with
love.
Encouragement for mothers . Encouragement for young women needing encouragement
opening for a moment, then shutting in a quiet place, not being afraid of the boredom.
The balm in Gilead.
the quiet stilled waters where I am led in the Lord.
The gentle gurgling of the stream bubbling up inside me.
the rushing stormy waters for a militant stance are not there at
present the militant stance will come once love reigns once again.
worship, the full all out worship clean in the Lord.
The battle inside to give up the codependent behaviors to understand and do the will of God.
It takes an ax to the root of a belief system. Is it a good thing or a God thing?
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